My heart is pounding too damn fast
I feel it wanting to jump out of my chest
Anxiety poisons all of my veins
My brain twists and turns in constant pain
My headaches rawr throughout my bones
My body sweats through all my pores
When will this anxiety of mine disappear so I can thrive.
My eyes were sealed
My lips were sewn
No stories to be seen, no words to be spoke
Abandoned and defeated and left all alone
The silence grew louder and my space got small
The wind became icy but my body became warm
My arms and legs started to finally move
This was it, it was my turn to run
To save myself from this forest and go look for help
Only when I stood up I could finally then see that I was looking down at body and it was my soul that was set free.
I tore down your picture and burned all your words of letters written and our love torn. It is a harsh reality to this cruel, cruel world that all beautiful love stories must come to an end in order for our new stories to finally begin..
Take my hand, let’s run away, let’s break away from all our pain. Your hand in mine we’ll erase the hands of time and recreate an ending where our story’s never ending. Where loneliness becomes dust in the wind like an old forgotten memory. No death from the silence of pain and regret, let’s run away, your hand in mine, let’s thrive together and abandon the rest.
You were always right behind me during my most challenging times in life. You would torment me with your whispers and bruise me with your lies. I was addicted to your torture and ripped apart when you left my side. For I had found my happiness again, but never more have I wanted to die.
Behind my eyes lay secrets that one has never known. Secrets of regret and secrets of pain. But the ones that scare me the most are the secrets that I can not differentiate. Sometimes I can close them in and peal back their layers of skin, but beneath their core these secrets of mine develop a thicker web of lies. My secrets like to hide away because their scared to be exposed, but oh the pain that would be endured if only I’d let them go…
They come out when it’s light and follow me into the dark. Each step they take is in unison with mine. They never leave my side even when I wish they did. They remind me of the person I was and the person I’ll never be again. My shadows have many shapes some small and some tall, but the one I fear the most isn’t a shadow at all.