I lay alone and hear the whispers from the hall, the walls close in around me as I begin to turn towards the pain. The past is like an old memory, permanently engraved in my soul. Maybe one day I will no longer feel your presence in the silence of the night when the lights go out around me and there is no one else in sight.
My heart is pounding too damn fast
I feel it wanting to jump out of my chest
Anxiety poisons all of my veins
My brain twists and turns in constant pain
My headaches rawr throughout my bones
My body sweats through all my pores
When will this anxiety of mine disappear so I can thrive.
My eyes were sealed
My lips were sewn
No stories to be seen, no words to be spoke
Abandoned and defeated and left all alone
The silence grew louder and my space got small
The wind became icy but my body became warm
My arms and legs started to finally move
This was it, it was my turn to run
To save myself from this forest and go look for help
Only when I stood up I could finally then see that I was looking down at body and it was my soul that was set free.
I tore down your picture and burned all your words of letters written and our love torn. It is a harsh reality to this cruel, cruel world that all beautiful love stories must come to an end in order for our new stories to finally begin..
It scares me when you’re not around for I fear that you may see, how vulnerable I am without you, it makes me feel like a fool you see… For how can one depend so much on another human being? This is something I’ll never come to know, but for now it’s clear to see that my love for you has developed into a toxic pool of my insecurities.
Time and time again I felt my feet get weary. My stomach ached and my hands would start to shake when I felt ungallantly capable. But today it was different I rose up from the floor, I felt the sun on my skin again when I opened all the windows. I dusted off my past and walked towards my future. I grabbed the keys and turned the key and handle. I walked outside with nothing in hand yet everything in reach and for once, I was finally hopeful.
I saw you standing alone and weak. I saw the way you wished for a miracle and prayed God would pick you off your knees. To pick you up and take you somewhere far away from here. Your eyes they were so fearful and your heart it was so torn. You were running away from something horrible, but all I could do was watch. Watch as you wished upon a star as tears rolled down your eyes. Watched as you lifted your hand to God in hopes that he would reach down and heal your scars. I wished and prayed I could help you, but the days just kept on passing by. You were here, then you were gone, where my love, did you go? I’ve been searching for you for a thousand moons but still you haven’t shown..